Sending Love

I am going to end up speaking about these people a lot so I had better come up with some names for them. Let's call them Annie and Jake. These are the people who I had to say goodbye to the other day. Annie had already left town, just a few days after I got them settled into their condo. She had to go back to work, as so often happens. There is only so much time off a person can take when the medical bills keep piling up - but that isn't my point of this message.

I spoke with Annie on the phone today. I was hoping to comfort her and instead she listened to me cry for a little while. When I spent some alone time with her here in Jax I casually mentioned that I was becoming a bit numb to the transplant process. I've met so many people and have heard so many sad stories of the trials of each persons disease and decline that it is not wise to internalize all of it. It is just a lot of sadness to take on, so I don't for the most part. There is also a lot of joy and hope and I fully participate in that.

When I spoke with Annie today I said, "So much for being numb!"

I did all the laundry today for the condo they rented, to get it ready for a new family. I thought about Jake with every piece that I folded. I thought about how he may live for years. I thought about how interesting to know that you have an expiration date. We all know we are going to die, but to know that it is coming sooner rather than later is a very interesting perspective. He can say all the things he wants to say to everyone. Or he can be reflective. He can love fully. He can also be angry, but I really don't think that that is part of his make up.

I, personally, don't want to live each day as if it were my last. However, having that expiration date (or time frame) is an incredible gift. Many years ago I sent out handwritten cards to a few friends and family members telling them all the things I could think of that I loved about them. It was so much fun. One of my friends wears burks with wild colored socks. It is so annoying, yet so adorably her. I love that. I think these little things that I do (that we all may do) is one of the ways we can pour love on our family and friends and let them know how much they mean to us.

I want Jake and his wife and his family to love each day and each week and each month and each year that they have each other all together. I want them to make family memories. I want Jake to live his best life. I want his bad days to be few and far between. I want their family to know that if they can't be there every day, that it's OK. Jake knows that they love him and that they have their own lives to live! He has his life to live, too.

I want to keep in touch with them as much as possible. I'm thinking maybe I'll send Annie an email with just a short message a few times a week. I love to send cards, so I will certainly send a little note every so often. The one thing I know I can do, is to send a little prayer to them each day.

If you have a moment, send a little healing prayer to Michigan.

Thanks so much,
Kristin