Unrecognizable

tylerknott.com

My life is almost unrecognizable from the way it was just a year ago.
Sure I do a lot of the same things, but I am very different.

Last year I was trying to bolster myself up so I could ask my husband for a divorce.  

Last year I was getting my antique booth up and running so I might have some money coming in.

Last year I was scared that once again, I would push the idea of divorce out of my mind and go on pretending to be happy. 

Last year I said yes to my friend, Steve, and told him that I would be his caregiver.  He lived alone and needed someone who would help him get to and from dialysis three times a week and be there for him for appointments, doctor visits and ultimately be his caregiver full time (for a few weeks) when he got the call to get his kidney transplant.  This full time role could be years away.  We were told 3 to 5 years.

Last year I was bone weary, emotionally drained, walking through my days praying something good would happen so I could hold on to that feeling to make it until the next day.  

Last year the thought of blogging was so overwhelming that I had to quit.

Last year the thought of taking a picture was mind numbing.

Last year walking into my house every day without my kitty there to greet me was just heartbreaking. 

I seriously felt that everything in my life was sad.  Even volunteering to take Steve to dialysis was sad.  He was usually happy and upbeat when I picked him up to take him to dialysis but by the time I got back a few hours later the dialysis had literally drained him, gave him a headache and he rarely ever felt decent again until the next day.  

It was actually the weekly trips (Tue, Thur and Sat) picking up Steve, taking him to D (as we called it) and then coming back an hour or so before he got unhooked from the dialysis machine, that got me living again.  They say if you can't help yourself then you can help someone else and that will in turn help you.  Well, I decided to listen to whoever THEY is!  I decided that if we had to go through 3 to 5 YEARS of dialysis, I couldn't be heartbroken every single time I dropped him off and picked him up.  I had to make it the best experience possible for both of us.  I had to make the day worth it.  So I just started being my goofy self, I laughed as much as possible, we talked about happy things, I asked questions about Steve's life and teased him about those things later (I love to tease!) and he responded with fun and laughter, too.   It was a light, a big, huge, giant light!  D days were still a bit depressing, but it was almost always a nice time together and I believe Steve got stronger and so did I during that time.

Found on Pinterest - unknown origin

I went on an adventure in August (leaving Steve in the capable hands of our transplant community who shuttled him back and forth while I was gone.)  I once again went up the East Coast and spent a few weeks with friends.  My friend Bob, who I've talked about quite a bit on here, is one of my best friends.  She and I are quite a pair and we always have a good time together.  She needed help getting her house cleaned out so she could put it on the market and I spent two weeks or more maybe with her and we played a little and packed and sorted and had a garage sale and stuff.  We talked and watched Downton Abbey Seasons One and Two and laughed and cried.  It was another incredible adventure.  More light was coming in to make me stronger.

I spent a week in Amish country with my friend Lynn.  She had set up a transplant recipient reunion at her place, so I helped in the final few days before the event.  It was so great to have so many friends from around the country come to the reunion.  My transplant community is my home, I've come to realize that more and more.  I love being a part of it.  I think a spotlight is now shining on me by this time.

I went home to Michigan in October for two weeks.  Home.  I always love being home, but this time I had so much hope for myself that I knew I had it in me to change my life.  It was this trip home that gave me the thinking time without any pressure.  I cried a million tears that trip.  It's funny how coming home can do that.  

To be continued...

Kristin

My Dad's Place

I really had no idea what to expect when I went to see where my Dad was now living.  He just kept telling me that he looked at the place one day, bought it the next and wasn't planning on coming back for a few months.  So when I asked about the house he'd say, I don't know or I don't remember.  He's been down in Punta Gorda for a few months now and living in the house, but he still was mum about it's condition.  He did tell me the place was pink.  I thought it was going to be as pink as this flower, I found on his back patio, but actually it's a dusty rose that pretty much looks like a rosy tan. 

Tom, my Dad and I arrived fairly late and after dark.  My heart was beating pretty fast as I was so nervous about what I'd find when he opened the door to the inside.

Oh heck!  He was pulling my leg, as it is a real nice place.  The problem for my Dad was that he purchased the place furnished and still with a lot of the former owners things - so it was a little overwhelming for him.  That's why he was so vague about the place.

The outside is nice, if not a typical looking Florida style modular home.  Everyone in his community has a house like this, but interestingly, they are all different.  Some are bigger, some smaller, different colors, landscaping and driveways, the patio's are different or the homes are higher off the ground.  When you look down the street you don't feel as though you are seeing the same image.  I like that. 

Here is my Dad's carport.  Lots of light comes into the house because of the lack of walls.   It bothers me in my place that two sides of my condo are windowless.  He doesn't have that problem at all.

The back patio needs some love, but I can see my Dad entertaining friends back here in the near future. 

He even has a storage area where the former kitchen cabinets now reside.  The two gray bins are going back with me to Jacksonville the next time I come down. We gathered up all as many items as possible that my Dad either didn't like or wasn't needed in his place.  The house was full of lighthouses, in the form of little statues, plaques, wall decor, dishtowels, etc.  He wasn't too keep on keeping all of that.  The decorations in the house were also pretty girly.  Tea cups and saucers and tons of items with flowers.  We deflowered the place :)

By the time I left I had gone through every nook and cranny and divided everything we found into piles - Humane Society (towels and blankets),  Habitat for Humanity Resale store (unwanted items that I didn't want),  trash, keep and the Gray Bins.  I will have a booth in an antique mall in a few weeks, so all of the items that I thought I could sell there, I put in the bins. 

I haven't edited the inside photos yet, so I hope to have that finished for tomorrows post.

I really think my Dad is going to be happy there.  Especially now that the decorations are more to his liking!  I don't know if he is going to be a year round resident or just a winter resident.  I don't even think he knows.  He'll figure it out.

Until then - he's got a great place.

Thanks for stopping by!
Kristin

POTD - Best Of...Mocha

POTD - Mocha

©2010 Kristin Corlett

It's been awhile since I did a Best Of photo of the day and today I unfortunately have reason to bring back an image from the past.

My dear sweet kitty was put to sleep today (Thursday Dec 8th, 2011) in my arms.  Her sister, Maggie, passed away, with me by her side, July 31st, 2006.
Two beautiful, crazy, loving and totally food obsessed sisters. 
My world improved the day they came into it.  
We had Maggie 10 years and Mocha 15.  


Kristin

POTD - Stella

POTD - Stella

©2011 Kristin Corlett

The middle one, the lovey one, the brown-eyed one.  This is Stella.  She had been sick for the past couple of days, so I waited to get her close up on a day when she felt better.  We were on our way to the farmer's market for their fall harvest event when I asked her to stop for me.   Stella smiles and laughs and giggles all the time, but it's hard to get her to smile for the camera.  Thanks honey for doing such a great job for your Tottie!

Enjoy!
Kristin

POTD - Zora

POTD - Zora

©2011 Kristin Corlett

Zora would prefer to be left alone to play games on the computer, watch TV, draw, write and illustrate her stories...well, pretty much she wishes she didn't have sisters that mess with her stuff.  That's very important to a seven year old.  Zora took a moment out from playing a computer game to look at me.  Thanks Zora, I really like this one.

Enjoy!
Kristin

POTD - Scarlett

POTD - Scarlett

©2011 Kristin Corlett

Scarlett peeking between the balusters of my Mom's stairway.  It's blurry but I don't care.  Scarlett runs so much that's about all you see of her anyway - just a blur.

Enjoy!
Kristin

POTD - Ten Years

POTD - Ten Years

©2011 Kristin Corlett

This is for my Mom.  She is involved with the Peace Movement in her community and this weekend is the 10th anniversary of the war in Afghanistan.   They have made up ten signs, to represent the ten years.  (I'll write a whole blog post on that later today) The handles of the signs are vintage - they are lathing strips that came out of an old house.  The tops are painted white to match the white posterboard, but the handles were left original.  I like the age of the wood and the nail holes on the ends of some of the pieces.  My Mom had these all laying out on a table and I saw them as I was coming down the stairs yesterday morning.  I told her thanks for helping me choose what my photo of the day would be! 

Enjoy!
Kristin

Tottie, do it again!

I have had two wonderful days.  I arrived safe and sound and without incident in Flint on Tuesday morning.  My sister Hillary picked me up and we sped off to East Lansing, MI.  We had lunch with my Mom at the Peanut Barrel - one of my Mom's favorite places and a neighborhood bar/restaurant and then Hillary went home and I went to Alison's to see her and the kiddos. 

Yesterday is pretty much a blurr because I had so little sleep the night before, but Stella and I played together and Alison and I talked and talked.  I got updated on a lot that had been going on.  Alison convinced me I should take a nap while I had the chance and I was out in a matter of moments.

I slept from 10pm until 6am without moving.  My hand was still holding onto the corner of the pillow and the covers hadn't moved an inch.  Guess I was tired.

Today was a different story.  I arrived before Scarlett napped and the three of us played in the playroom for quite awhile.  I brought my camera up there and pretty much all I heard was, "Tottie, do it again," "Take my picture, Tottie," "Take it again!"

I figured out the timer so we took a dozen or two shots of the three of us.  Most of them were complete duds, but the one above was a keeper and the best of the lot.

This one is just barely passable, but Stella wanted us to have a picture of us on the couch.

Zora is at school all day, so the big event is going to pick her up after school.  There's a little hill right by the school where Alison and the kids wait for Zora.  It's quite a bit of fun for them and it's out of the way of the buses and lines of other cars waiting for children.

Zora was reading over her homework as I was sneaking pictures of her.  She caught me and wasn't too pleased about it...

so she rushed the paparazzi!!  I thought it was a fun picture of her.

I'm going to have to share some of the pictures Zora's drawings.  They don't look anything like a 7 year old's drawings.  Coming from my talented sister and talented brother in law, I don't know why I'd say such a thing.  Of course the kid is crazy talented.

Zora told my Mom tonight that drawing is easy, it's all just lines.

Riiiiight.

I could draw lines all day and never get as good as she is already. 

That's a teaser to keep you coming back.  


Hope you have a GREAT day!

Kristin

Tottie = Auntie in kid talk

POTD - Curled Up

POTD - Curled Up

©2011 Kristin Corlett

I'm starting to get excited about going home to Michigan.  My nieces are growing up so fast that this photo I took six months ago is way out of date.  They have both gotten taller and their chubby kid features are getting more and more refined.  Zora, in pink, looks like she has a very soft face here and the photos of her I saw the other day she looks a lot more lean and grown up.  Stella, in the aqua pants, looks so much older than just a six month span.  Scarlett, who isn't in this photo is keeping up with the big kids I hear.  I can't wait to see them.  I just hope they don't take too many days to warm up to me.  I've only got two weeks with them instead of the month I've had the previous two Octobers. 

I have always enjoyed seeing kids piled into chairs.  These two look so uncomfortable and yet they hardly moved.  I'll try to get all three of them together this next time.  I can just imagine a squirming Scarlett tossed in the middle of this mix!

Enjoy!
Kristin

Oh Baby!

I don't think I've shared too many of my baby pictures.  I think it's because I was such a goofy looking child.  My hair was the most unruly mess my entire first year of life.  It's really quite funny.  The above photo was the first professional photo of me, I do believe.  This one, I like :)

My Mom put these photos into my baby book.  I think it's the only year that she did this.  You can click to enlarge it.  In today's digital world, can you imagine only putting in six pictures for a whole year of life?!  I like the simplicity of it, so I'm happy.

Jan 1969 - I was two years and three months old.  We lived just outside of Marquette, MI at KI Sawyer Air Force Base.  They get a lot of snow up there in the UP.  (Upper Peninsula)

May - I'm pictured with the two boys that I thought were put on this Earth to take care of me!  They are my Uncles - Alan and Matthew.    They treated me like a little sister, took me places, let me hang out with their friends, picked on me, dressed me up in their football uniforms and sometimes teased me until I cried...but that didn't stop me.  I would have been by their side every second if I could. 

Sept - I'm standing next my next best friend.  He lived at my grandparents house.  I loved this statue and always wanted my picture taken with him.  I couldn't wait to be taller.

It looks like the next one says Aug, but my birthday is in Oct.   Well anyway, this is the stage when I think I start looking like a cute kid.  My hair has finally stopped being so goofy and my face has gotten out of the baby stage. 

Dec - This is when I received my first set of luggage.  Ahhh, the travel bug hit me very young...three years old.  I guess we had Christmas at my Grandparents house because that's their fireplace and the stocking in the background was my Uncle Matt's, which at some point became mine.  Maybe this was year?  I still have that stocking, too.  I've never had any other. 


So that's me as a kiddo.
I thought after two days of pretty serious talk it might be fun to lighten it up a bit and have a laugh at my baby pictures. 
Have a wonderful day!

Kristin

Father's Day at the cemetery

I did a very devilish thing Saturday night.

I talked someone into something that they didn't want to do, but deep down they really did.

Let me rewind a second.  I was asked by a friend if I would give her sister, Lori, a call.  She was visiting Jacksonville and staying in their house since they weren't there.  Long story short, she said that her sister needed a vacation but was already itching to go home.  She asked me to try to talk her sister into staying in town for a few more days.

I was up for a challenge so I agreed.

Last night Lori to come with us to the Creekside restaurant and met all of the people that were so close to her sister when they were here.  While we were eating dinner and enjoying the music, she kept telling me that she'd love to spend a few days together talking photography and maybe helping me learn a few things.  But she'd always end those conversations with, "...but I'm leaving in the morning."

I truly was relentless.  She had no hope of saying no once I had it in my mind she was staying.

A few hours with me and she was talking herself into staying!


This morning Lori and I headed out for some photographic adventures.  I didn't get a whole lot of learning in because I was enjoying showing her a few places - a cemetery, under a bridge and to lunch with a friend.

At the cemetery, Lori brought out some magnifying lenses and we played around with them a bit.  (I'm going to have to invest in some!)   The little filter makes my lens able to get in close!  Real close!!

Her lenses weren't made for my camera, so it's kind of a shaky photo.  Maybe tomorrow we can set the cameras up on the tripod - after I purchase the filters of course.

I noticed a ton of flowers today all around the cemetery.  I had called my Dad earlier in the day, but after that call I totally forgot it was Father's Day.  It didn't occur to me until later that many of the flowers were for fathers.

The cemetery looked beautiful and I'm so very grateful I was there this day.

This little plot, above, was so interesting.  Flowers, statues, urns, a bench, windchimes, leis...

I've noticed the plot before so I do believe that someone comes regularly to maintain the festive atmosphere.

Many of the headstones had several little statues around their base.  I believe that most of the statues left on this one were left by grandchildren.  It's so sweet and I'm glad that the cemetery allows such items to be left behind.

This angel statue left me very sad though.  He was almost completely buried by the land.  Maybe it was done on purpose to signify death and heaven.   Maybe the nearby tree grew above ground roots by the statue that were covered by the landscapers.  Maybe there isn't any more to this statue.

Whatever the story, it made me think.

I love you Daddy.

I miss you Grandpa and Grandpa.


Have a wonderful week.
Kristin

from helium to dress up clothes

Holy smokes it's 12 minutes to midnight and I haven't written a word. 

What does this mean anyway?

Actually it's very interesting as I have been thinking of blog posts all day.  Different photos to use, topics to discuss, very personal deep down feelings on a few things and yet nothing has made it here.

I helped put together some furniture today, thought about my friends flying across the US to their home and had the sudden urge to inhale helium and sing a song. 

Speaking of songs a local station had a 70s weekend and I have enjoyed every single song.  It made me feel like a kid again.  I used to sit out on the front steps of our house when I was in kindergarten and first grade and sing to the radio.  When we moved from our duplex to the house, I would sing and dance in the basement or in my bedroom, but at the duplex I sat outside. 

I have fond memories of that duplex.  I sold lemonade once or twice and I specifically remember selling rocks.  I think I had a few buyers, too, as I recall.   My neighbor friends would come over to our place and we'd have dress-up plays in the back yard.   I've always said that I never had any toys when I was growing up (and that isn't completely true, but I didn't have a lot compared to other kids) but I had the very best dress-up bin of anyone.  None compared to it. 

I often wonder how I can have so many memories from Kindergarten and First Grade.  I was 4 and 5 years old, but I have hundreds of memories from that duplex.  As soon as Alison was born and we moved to the new house, my memories are not as clear.  I never really thought of that before, until just now. 

Well, I loved Alison to no end, so it's all good.  I guess I am the type of person that can only remember things when I am the only one getting the attention!

It's 12:01 so I'd better publish this before it gets too far into the next day. 
Thanks so much for staying with me while I did a bit of free association. 
I just wish I had a few photos to share.

He's a sicky

My husband is sick so he isn't the happiest man on earth. 

This is the conversation we had about dinner tonight.

Me: I've made a salad.  Would you like to have a salad and pork chops for dinner?

Him: Noooo.  I don't think I'll ever eat again.

Me:  If that's the case, then I'm just going to eat the salad in about 10 minutes.  I'll save the pork chops for tomorrow. You're sure you don't want anything?

Him: I'm sure

(Ten minutes later as I'm walking into the kitchen)

Him: What did you say we have for dinner?

Me: Pork chops and salad.

Him: I'll have that.

Me: *fake smile* OK - great!  I'll put those in then.

(Pork chops are done and I've put two slices of really great bread into the toaster)

Me: I've warmed up some bread.  Do you want yours warm or actually toasted?

Him: I don't want any.

Me: None at all?

Him: None.

Me: Oh good!  That means I get two pieces.

Him: Well then, I want mine toasted.

He ate every bite.


Hope you're having a great day!
Kristin

POTD - Kitty Hat

POTD - Kitty Hat

©2011 Kristin Corlett

My youngest niece modeling the kitty hat that I bought for the middle niece.   She's such a toddler now, no longer a baby.  When I was taking care of the girls I noticed that the two older girls no longer called her Baby.  They had called her Baby so often that I was afraid it might stick, but she's far from a baby now.

Enjoy!
Kristin

Mom's Kitchen

Awhile back I my photos of the day were the little stools and the next day I had the wooden crate that said bull dog on it next to this green cabinet.  I was asked if I could show off the rest of the kitchen.

My Mom remodeled the kitchen two years ago and these are the photos that she took. 

The storage and counter tops are minimal, but after using the kitchen for a few events and when I come visit, I find it easy to use.  My mom has it all figured out and she loves the way it works for her, so that's the only thing that really matters.

The kitchen was designed around that custom table.  It's a great piece.  There's now a big red and black rug underneath the table. I guess it hadn't arrived yet when she took this photo. 

The kitty knows that heater vent is under the sink cabinet.  She loves this spot.

The large windows are lovely. It makes the kitchen a bright place where you can look out over the back yard. This area has been constantly changing since this photo had been taken.  Several different chairs have been put to the longevity test but now a part of a sectional couch is in here, replacing the rocking chair.  The cafe table has been taken out and a small rectangle table has been brought in.  The cat sits on that table, too!  The rug has stayed though.  It's a great rug.

This is the stove area.  Not sure if you can see it, but there's a pot filler on the wall.   It's a very cool fixture and so handy to fill up a large pot.

So that's my Mom's kitchen.

Happy Mother's Day to all those that celebrate the day!
Kristin

POTD - Hi

POTD - Hi

©2011 Kristin Corlett

New haircut, smudged mascara, sitting in my mother's kitchen, trying to get both eyes in the photo and not both chins.  This is the third self portrait I've taken for my 365 photography project.  You can see all of the photos I've taken so far on my Shuttercal photo calendar.

Enjoy!
Kristin

POTD - What's for breakfast?

POTD - What's for breakfast?

©2011 Kristin Corlett

Last week when I spent the night with my nieces, I asked Zora to help me figure out what I was supposed to make for breakfast.  She got out a scrap piece of paper and wrote this list.  Zora just turned seven and I think she did a pretty good job writing out the list.  She misspelled several things and she still hasn't quite gotten got the hang of how to write Scarlett's name, but she did a great job.   The list certainly helped me in the morning, that's for sure. 

Enjoy!
Kristin

A day in the park

My nieces and I went to the park yesterday.  Zora and Stella were much faster than Scarlett, but she managed to play just as hard and just as long as the older girls. 

What a sweet moment. 

Enjoying a look at the Grand River.  While crossing the street on the way back home a woman stopped her car to let us cross.  She said that the girls looked like a Spring bouquet.   I guess they did!

I told the girls to line up against the rock wall because I wanted to take a picture for their folks. Stella discovered a spider web on the rocks where she was supposed to stand so she moved out away from the wall. Scarlett wanted absolutely nothing to do with me so I was doing all kinds of crazy dancing to get her to turn her head. Stella loved it you can see, and Zora stood there just like that with the smile on her face because she promised me she wouldn't make any goofy faces - just this one time. 

 

When I showed this to the kid's dad he said that this could be their first album cover!  He said Scarlett was the serious one.   What a hoot.

That's all from my city.  What about yours? 
For more Sundays in my City please visit Unknown Mami.

Have a great day!
Kristin

Watching the girls

found in an antique store

I hate to say that I was the babysitter because they are my nieces, but I did watch my three fabulous girls last night, all by myself.  Alison's husband was performing with Janiva Magness last night at the State Theater in Kalamazoo, MI as a part of their Spring tour so Alison and family and friends went to the show.  I volunteered to be with the little ones. 

At the very last minute before Alison walked out the door her husband called and said he was given a hotel room of his own and would she like to stay the night with him?  (He won't be back home for a few weeks due to the tour)  She told him no, that she didn't want to ask me to stay overnight with the girls.  When she mentioned to me about the phone call I told her to go pack her bag! 

The look on her face was priceless. 
She was stunned and excited. 
Then she questioned my sanity, "Are you sure?!"
And then she packed a bag. 

So last night about 6pm I was fully in charge of three little girls for about 18 hours.  It was the very first time for this Auntie.  We had a really good time.  There weren't any crying meltdowns, no one bled and they all went to bed with almost zero fuss.  

All three slept through the night, but I couldn't say the same for myself.  Since I sleep like a rock, I was nervous I might not hear them if somone starting fussing in the night, so I found myself awake almost every half hour!  Just long enough to listen for any noise, then back to sleep.  It did make for a long night, but thankfully no one made a peep until morning. 

I woke up to Stella saying, "Tottie Kristin, we are awake now.  Get up."
So I did.

Their Momma came home just before one and although I gave them breakfast and a snack, I totally forgot about lunch!  Their Mom made that for them. 
So much for babysitter of the year.

But then again, I wasn't the babysitter.  I'm the Auntie.

Have a great day and I hope the Easter Bunny hides and egg or two for you!
Kristin

Decorating Easter Eggs

One of my favorite activities this time of year is dying eggs.  This was the first time that I've ever decorated eggs with my nieces so it was an EGGstra special day!

Hillary brought over some pastel egg dye which doesn't use any vinegar or lemon juice to activate the dye.  They look very interesting in the clear glasses before we started stirring them.

Honest - Zora was having a great time!  This was the only shot I got of her tonight. 

Scarlett was playing with the egg cups and plastic eggs.  This was just before we got out all of the water and dyes. 

Stella is into hiding her face when the camera comes near her, so the only shot I could get was the one where she said, "Tottie, take my picture!"  Stella only wanted to have the eggs in the dye for a short period of time.   No deep dark colors for her eggs - soft and pastel were her favorites.

The tray of finished eggs.  Tottie is the name that Zora gave Hillary so long ago.  It means Auntie. 
Hillary is known as Tottie and I'm Tottie Kristin.

I'm a bit surprised but Scarlett was very happy sitting in her highchair playing with plastic eggs and the egg carton while the rest of us dyed eggs.  She had a blast.

We all had a blast.

Happy Easter!
Kristin