Wednesday, June 04, 2008


I honestly can't get over the death of my cousin.

I guess I didn't say that correctly. It has only been a few days since his death, so it is totally natural to not get over it in such a short period of time, what I meant to say is that I am thinking about it constantly. I can't get it out of my mind.

He was my age.

He was born just 2 months and 12 days before me.

He had 6 kids. 7 grandkids. Two wives. (one divorce)

I have one husband and a cat.

Did he live his life fast?

Did he run from the gate so quickly and get everything he needed to do into those 42 years so that he didn't need to live here on earth any longer?

My Mother's brother died at age 21. He had already been around the world twice and had a pilots license.

I have a husband and a cat. I've been to Norway twice. I have taken a few cruise ship cruises to the Carribean and through the Panama Canal. Am I living my life at a snails pace? Is that OK? If you go through life quickly does that mean that you get out quicker?

I don't want to get out, absolutely, I don't want to get out, but I am wondering if I am living my life a little too slowly. Maybe at 42 I should have seen more of the United States. Maybe I really should have had a child. Maybe I should have kept in touch with more people, since I don't have any children to run after. Maybe maybe maybe.

These are my Grandparents - Eddie and Mildred Corlett (& me, peeking out from behind them.)

This is Arlas' grandparents. Hazel and Blanche Gilliland. I called them Aunt and Uncle. Aunt Blanche and Uncle Hazel.

My Grandmother and Arlas' Grandmother were cousins and best friends. They had a double wedding and 50 years later (Pictured here), they had a double 50th Wedding Anniversary party. In 1974 I was 7 years old and Arlas & I had one of only a very few photos of us taken. Most of the time Arlas and I were filthy from our heads to our toes. His grandmother, Blanche, would hardly let us into the house because we were so dirty. So it is funny that the only picture of Arlas and I that I own, is one where we are dressed up in our very best clothes.

This is us - Arlas and I. It must be at the beginning of the party because both of us have pretty straight looking hair and we haven't gotten dirty yet. The corsage that I have on is plastic. I still have it. When my Mother saw this picture the other day she said that she had always liked that dress that I wore that day.

I guess I don't have to hurry up. I don't have to have children. I don't need to go around the world or drive truck across the country. I need to be me and I need to love those around me, those that I care about and those that I think of...

Have a great day!

1 comment:

"J" said...

I'm so so so very sorry for your loss! He was very young! =( He did live life fast and it sounds like it was a full one!